Said the wrong thing? Wish you hadn’t hit send on that email? Lost a job? Missed out on the opportunity of a lifetime? Guess what, you’re still here. You owe it to yourself to keep moving forward.
How? Smash that rearview mirror.
You can’t change the past and no amount of reflection, self-torture or self-pity will allow you to change the past.
Put another way, “Never be a prisoner of your past. It was a lesson, not a life sentence.” – Anonymous
I know what you’re thinking, easier said then done. Amen sister. But, I will tell you it gets way easier with age. The things that kept me up at night in my twenties wouldn’t even have me looking for a glass of wine today.
Luckily for us, there are other ways to improve your resiliency other than aging. There is a mountain of research on tools, processes and self-care available for learning how to improve your ability to forget the past. The following list provides my go-to techniques:
- Turn letting go of the past into a must. What will change if you let it go? What won’t change if you don’t let it go. Tony Robbins is a guru on this. You have to treat letting go like raising your kids. Has to be done. Some days will be easier and some will be harder but we push forward and get 1% better everyday.
- Invest in others. Put energy into something larger than yourself. Volunteer, help friends with what they need. Remember, 9 out of 10 people would wish for your life. Focusing on someone else allows perspective on what we’re trying to forget.
- Invest in yourself. Self-care, goal-oriented milestones and/or binging TV. Do whatever you want to recharge and to distract you and do it consistently and don’t miss. My go to is exercise. Your go to may be playing the piano, reading or babysitting your niece. Do what makes you feel better in the moment.
- VENT IT OUT with your bestie. If she/he is really your bestie they will let you get it all off your chest, agree with you and then never let you bring it up again. I see you RC!