My Love Language

We’re in strange times right now.  The news alerts tell us that inflation is cooling.  The job market is strong and unemployment is low.  Interest rates on home mortgages are coming down.  The stock market is performing.  I suppose numbers don’t lie, but for many of us it feels like they do.  So many of my friends and former colleagues are job seekers, and they are facing a very tough job market where a single job posted on LinkedIn receives hundreds of applications and exhausted skeleton crews of recruiters are forced to rely on AI and key words to weed through the volume in search of qualified candidates.  The Great Resignation is over, and we are now navigating a very different reality in the current job market. 

All of this turbulence swirled around in my mind when I was scrolling Instagram the other day, and this quote literally leaped off the screen at me: My Love Language is bringing other women up with me when I rise. There’s room for all of us at the top.

As women, we have the power to harness this unique love language and its impact – and we need to use it liberally, not only on behalf of our job seeking colleagues but on behalf of all women of potential.  There is in fact room at the top for all of us, and we need to help each other make the climb. 

What can we do to speak this love language to other women?  Quite a bit, actually.  Here are some ideas of things you can do NOW, TODAY, THIS WEEK - with a focus on helping those in your network who are job seeking since there are so many out there right now because of corporate layoffs.  You don’t have to do them all.  Choose the ones that suit you or fit with the needs of the woman you are trying to help.

Easy: Support each other on platforms like LinkedIn and Instagram, with likes, positive reactions, and words of encouragement. The quote that started this blog was shared by FIERCE co-founder Rebecca Cahak.  Surround other women with positivity and help that positivity flourish in your network.

Easy: Be willing to read a resume or review a LinkedIn profile and provide real, meaningful, and actionable feedback.  Be the fresh set of eyes and give the gift of candid feedback. Once you’ve looked at your own resume hundreds of times, it’s impossible to see the flaws.

Easy: Talk to women in your network, as mentors or friends or even just as cheerleaders. A word of encouragement goes so far. Listening to someone talk about their journey or being a sounding board means so much. Check in on people and ask them how they’re doing and find out if/how you can help. An open conversation costs you nothing and can be priceless to someone who needs a helping hand.

Harder:  Use your network to proactively make connections between people. Re-post interesting job opportunities to your network on LinkedIn.  Keep a mental list of people you know who are looking for certain kinds of work and share posts with them directly via LinkedIn message. Submit resumes as a referral in your company to help those resumes break through the application-bot clutter.

Harder: For those who you’ve worked with directly and believe in their talent, offer to write LinkedIn recommendations, preferably with specific examples showing what the person has accomplished and why you recommend them.  Find out what skills or experiences the person wants you to talk about and do so in a meaningful way (no fluff!).  You are truly endorsing someone with a LinkedIn recommendation on a publicly available profile page. Only provide these recommendations to those you can vouch for, and when you do it, make it count.

Hardest: Make a personal connection between a hiring manager in your network and a qualified candidate.  Send the person’s resume to the hiring manager with a note of support.  Ask the person about the role and how they believe your recommendation will support their candidacy.  As with a LinkedIn recommendation, be specific in talking about the person’s skills and achievements and relate them to the role and your experience with the person.  

Hardest: Serve as an advocate for a candidate for a specific role where you may have influence in candidate selection, and possibly in the decision-making process.  Putting your name on someone and advocating for them from a position of influence opens the door.  It’s then up to the candidate to walk through and show her value and win the role.  


I can tell you definitively that these things matter.  How do I know?

Rewind the clock about 3 years to Thanksgiving week, November 2020. My family and I have rented a house in Austin for a local vacation – we have to get out of our own house or I will go stir crazy, but we really can’t go far, because COVID is still ever present. 

A few days ago, I got a huge surprise: I was the finalist candidate for a role I had applied to and interviewed for in early October.  It was potentially a life changing role for me, unlocking the (somewhat scary) opportunity to leave my company and my comfort zone of 20+ years.

I remember three moments so clearly on this journey: 

(1) I saw the job posted on LinkedIn and called my friend Maria, who worked at the company.  She immediately said, “APPLY.  I will advocate for you!”. 

(2) After the interviews and a period of uncomfortable silence from the recruiter, my friend Maria called ME and encouraged me to check back in with the recruiter one more time – which led to the amazing news that I was a finalist. 

(3)  When I got the offer, I called my former boss and mentor Amanda, from the street outside of the Austin vacation rental, and asked her what to do.  I was excited and I was scared and I was waffling, unable to make a decision.  Amanda gave me the gift of a conversation.  She listened to me, and then she coached me and helped me to make the right decision for myself.  I was going to take the risk and accept the opportunity.  Eek!

This story IS the quote above.  Maria and Amanda spoke to me with this love language, a language that all too often women fail to speak to each other.  But we can, and we should. Doing so gives us power. 

Leasa Neaves is a 20+ veteran of the tech industry. Over the course of her career, Leasa has developed a passion for helping women to grow and feel empowered.  Follow Leasa on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/leasaneaves/

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